Dr. Shirley Aldor Shufer, 89, of Pawling, NY and Provincetown, Mass., died peacefully on October 15, 2015. Dr. Shufer was a psychologist and psychotherapist who practiced for more than twenty years in Pawling and New York City.
She was born in Manhattan on June 22, 1926, the day after the summer solstice, longest day of the year. All her life she loved the light.
Dr. Shufer was the middle daughter of the late Joseph and Serene (Kestenbaum) Aldor. A woman immensely proud of her Hungarian Jewish heritage, there was always a box of paprikash in her spice cupboard.
Growing up in Washington Heights, she started working at the age of 16 and graduated from the Cornell University-New York Hospital School of Nursing in 1948. While living in New Mexico, she worked as a nurse at the VA Hospital and St. Joseph’s Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico where she developed a lifelong love for the American Southwest and the Navaho people.
In October 1961 she married Max Shufer in Washington Heights, NY. Upon returning to New York, she worked at the Kingsbridge VA Hospital in the Bronx and completed a B.S. in Nursing Education from Hunter College in 1955. She worked as a nursing instructor at Lenox Hill Hospital’s School of Nursing and then earned a master’s degree in rehabilitation counseling from Hunter College in 1962. In 1976 she completed her Ph.D. in Pediatric Psychology from the Union Institute. She earned postdoctoral certificates in child psychotherapy, psychoanalytic psychotherapy and in the study of eating disorders.
Dr. Shufer went on to serve as a health consultant in pediatrics at Lenox Hill Hospital and at Vassar Brothers Hospital in Poughkeepsie. She practiced as a staff psychotherapist at the Mid-Hudson Consultation Center in Wappingers Falls and a staff psychotherapist and associate at the Center for the Study of Anorexia and Bulimia in New York City. In 1985 she established a private practice in psychotherapy in Pawling and New York City that she continued for more than twenty years. Later, she also became a student of homeopathy.
Dr. Shufer was the author of “My First Five Years: A Developmental Photo Album” inspired by the desire to help parents better understand the social and emotional development of young children. She published articles on pediatric nursing along with numerous letters to the editor in The Pawling News Chronicle, the Provincetown Banner and The New York Times.
She was a member of the American College of Counselors, the Association for Humanistic Psychology and the Society of the New York School for Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy.
Following the loss of her husband, Dr. Shufer joined the Pawling Library Board of Trustees where she served as an active volunteer working with elementary school children and sorting donated books for the Library’s book sales. Library staff and patrons alike knew the Library was very dear to her heart.
An enthusiastic cook and baker, she enjoyed exploring the cuisines of various countries. She also loved all handcrafts, knitting, crocheting, rug-hooking and in her later years doing needlepoint, designing her own canvases. She was well-known for her long walks around Pawling. She and her husband also loved spending time in Provincetown, where they visited almost every year from their marriage until his passing.
Dr. Shufer is survived by her daughter, Jane, of Pawling, NY; her nephew and niece Jeffrey and Debra Hyson of Raleigh. NC; her nephews, Joseph Wax of Oxford, Maine and Andrew Wax of Briarcliff Manor, NY; other loving family members and friends and of course, her beloved cat, Dulcy. She was predeceased by her parents, her husband, Max Shufer; and two sisters, Louise (Aldor) Hyson and Emily (Aldor) Wax.
A memorial gathering will be held at 1 p.m. on Sunday, November 8, 2015 at the Pawling Library Annex, 11 Broad St., Pawling, NY. In lieu of flowers, contributions in her memory may be made to the Southern Poverty Law Center, Hunter College, Doctors Without Borders or any organization that supports the rights of and brings joy to children.
