Obituary, Barbara Joan Kilmer

Loris, SC…

Barbara Joan Kilmer, age 76, passed away on Monday, January 8,2024, after a brief battle with cancer.  She passed away at home with her family by her side.

Barbara was born in Poughkeepsie, NY, daughter of the late Charles Schaffer, Sr., and the late Edna Kniffen Schaffer.

Barbara married Harvey E. Kilmer, Jr., in March 1964 who predeceased her in March of 2021. They lived in Dover Plains, NY for many years before becoming snowbirds spending their summers in NY and their winters in SC.

Barbara was immensely proud of her family and especially loved spending time with her grandchildren and great grandchildren.  She leaves behind treasured memories of time spent camping, sitting around a campfire and enjoying bingo with friends.  She was well known for her amazing crafts which she made for family and friends.  She made many beautifully decorated wreaths, crocheted baby outfits and blankets, and doilies.  She also enjoyed scrapbooking.  Her hands were rarely still.

In addition to her husband and parents, she was predeceased by her two sons, Harvey E. Kilmer, III and Wayne Paul Kilmer; two sisters, Charlene Vail and Robin Schaffer; and two brothers, Jeff Schaffer and Alan Schaffer.

Survivors include one daughter, Julie Gregory (Robert) of Sharon, CT; six grandchildren, Kristopher Kilmer, Karissa LaBonte (Nick), Kasey Kilmer, Shyla Winsted (Wesley), Justin Gregory, and Janay Gregory; four great grandchildren, Karah Kilmer, Haylynn Kilmer, Remy LaBonte, and Bowen LaBonte; three sisters, Patricia Millard of TN, Judy Gordon of ME, and Connie Rudkolf of NY; and one brother, Charles “Butch” Schaffer, Jr. of NY.

A family “Celebration of Life” will be held in the Spring.  She is now at peace with her boys.

Memorial donations may be sent to the Center of Compassion, P.O. Box 665, Dover Plains, NY 12522.

Please sign an online guestbook at

Goldfinch Funeral Home, Loris Chapel is serving the family.

Author: Harlem Valley News