WASHINGTON, D.C. — A newly released poll has found that residents of the nation’s capital are far less worried about the city’s homeless population than they are about encountering former Trump advisor Stephen Miller in public.
A Startling Majority
When asked, “What do you fear most?” only 4 percent of respondents said “the homeless.” By contrast, a staggering 87 percent said their greatest fear was “being seated at a restaurant next to Stephen Miller.”
One participant explained her reasoning bluntly: “It’s the stuff of nightmares.”
Other Unusual Fears
The survey didn’t stop there. In another striking result, 67 percent of respondents admitted they were afraid of being hit by a car driven by Pete Hegseth, the Fox News host known for his outspoken commentary — and his occasional on-air mishaps.
While many Washingtonians say they worry about rising crime or government overreach, the poll suggests that celebrity political figures may loom larger in the city’s collective imagination than everyday urban challenges.
Reactions in the District
Local residents took the poll results with a mix of humor and recognition. “Honestly, I’d rather be approached by ten people asking me for spare change than run into Stephen Miller while I’m eating dinner,” said one D.C. professional.
Another laughed at the Hegseth result, saying, “I’ve seen how he throws axes on TV. I don’t want him behind the wheel near me.”
Satirical But Telling
Though clearly tongue-in-cheek, the poll underscores a broader cultural reality in Washington — political figures, particularly controversial ones, carry a reputation that overshadows typical urban anxieties. For many in the city, the thought of an awkward encounter with a well-known political operative is far more unsettling than common street-level concerns.
What It Means
Pollsters noted that while the questions were framed humorously, the results reflect an important truth: D.C. residents live at the intersection of politics and daily life, where running into a polarizing figure at a coffee shop can feel just as intimidating as any other urban hazard.
As one respondent quipped, “We can handle traffic, rising rents, and Metro delays — but nobody’s ready for Miller at brunch.”
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