Eileen DeFulgentiis, age 96, died at home in Millbrook, NY on June 9, 2020. Eileen was born in County Armagh, Ireland to Louis and Ellen Whiteside. Her father immigrated to the United States and Eileen had memories of the ship voyage she took with her mother and older brother, Thomas, to join him in NYC when she was 5 years old. Eileen excelled in school in her new home and skipped two grades, graduating from High School when she was 16 years old. After graduation, Eileen took some college courses and entered the work force as an Executive Secretary and worked for several companies in Manhattan where she met and married Raymond McDonnell on September 3, 1949. They soon moved to City Island in the Bronx where they raised their four children, Kerry, Tom, Erin and Brian and were a happy family for many years.
When her marriage sadly ended after nearly 25 years, Eileen moved to Tuckahoe, NY and returned to work full-time as an Executive Assistant in NYC. She worked for the J.P. Stephens Co. and eventually USV Corporation. She also met Giacomo (Jack) DeFulgentiis, the Tuckahoe Police Department Chief of Police. They would run into each other in the elevator on their way to work and one morning Jack asked her if she liked to dance. Well, Eileen loved to dance and after receiving a thumbs up about Jack’s character from her buddy, the building’s security guard, she accepted his invitation. Eileen and Jack hit it off both on and off the dance floor and on March 12, 1977 they were married in Tuckahoe, New York. She also had a new step-daughter, Jill, who lovingly nicknamed her Wicked or WSM, short for Wicked Step Mother, a name they both embraced for the rest of her life.
Eileen and Jack enjoyed travelling in the United States and Europe and Eileen took early retirement from USV in 1986. They moved to Holiday City South in Toms River, NJ where they enjoyed adult community living and continued their travels until Jack’s death in 1990. Eileen remained in Tom’s River with a supportive group of friends and took advantage of the community’s many senior citizen cruises and trips both across the United States and abroad for the next few decades. She also thoroughly enjoyed the family travel benefits of traveling first class afforded by her daughter Erin’s career as a flight attendant, especially the champagne and ice cream sundaes.
Eileen enjoyed spending time with her oldest grandsons, Rob and Mike, who dubbed her Mimi, or so she always said. They were both so fortunate to have their Mimi at their elementary, middle, high school and college graduations. A little later Brian and his wife, Tammy, added 3 more grandchildren to Mimi’s joy, Brannden, Connor and finally a granddaughter, Megan. Eileen was 91 when she joyfully attended Mike’s wedding to Christina Wood in Boston and was ecstatic to be Mimi to her great-grandson, Mikey Jr. followed by her great-granddaughter, Colette (aka Coco).
In March 2019, Eileen finally moved to an assisted living facility at The Fountains in Millbrook, NY to be near her daughter and son-in-law. She was content and cared for in this beautiful setting and her family would like to express their heartfelt thanks to the nurses, aids and staff who were so kind to her, especially during her last week of Hospice comfort care. There are too many names to mention, but you know who you are.
In addition to her husband, Jack, Eileen was also predeceased by her youngest son, Brian; older brother, Thomas; younger brother, Joseph P. Whiteside and sister, Anne Shanahan; and former husband, Ray McDonnell. She is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Kerry and Bob McLean; son and daughter Tom and Erin McDonnell; step-daughter, Jill Heine; daughter-law, Tamara McDonnell, mother of Brannden, Connor and Megan; sister-in-law, Norma Whiteside; brother-in-law, Frank Shanahan; grandson, Rob McLean; grandson and his wife, Mike and Christina McLean, parents of Mikey Jr. and Coco and her 8 nieces and 4 nephews and their families.
Burial will be private and there will be a Mass and celebration of Eileen’s life at a later date after the pandemic. In lieu of flowers, donations in her memory may be made to The Pawling Resource Center, Pawling, NY.
Arrangements are under the direction of the Horn & Thomes, Inc. Funeral Home, 83 East Main Street, Pawling, NY.
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